Fighting for the Wrong Thing?

     Josh is in the fourth grade this year.  We have really come a long way!  At first my goal for him was to keep up with his peers.  That meant Mom's homework after regular homework and tons of therapy, speech, pt and ot.  Now after half of his fourth grade career and his IEP meeting I am really questioning my motives for all of this extra work I have piled on my son.  Josh is Josh and he is a wonderful, capable, captivating yound man!  Now that doesn't mean I won't push him to do his best, but I have learned that he needs time to just be a boy.  If you asked me I would say, "Josh has lots of buddies at school, but no true friends."  I say this because I can count with one finger how many birthday parties he has been invited to, or even how many times he has been invited to a friends house to play.  This hurts me tremendously, but I don't think it bothers Josh.  Now don't get me wrong.   I know he has feeling because I have seen him vent those feelings towards his brothers when they take something from him, or change the channel while Josh is watching TV.  But I haven't seen those feeling come out yet when he sees a buddy on the bus bring home a friend to play with.  At first I thought I should encourage him to invite buddies from school over and we would play WII and Playstation and all those other cool games boys these days like, but I realized that this was wrong, they wouldn't be coming over to really get to know Josh.  Then I realized in His time he will meet a true friend and I really shouldn't be worried!  For now this means I have more time with Josh!  And I can stop fighting for the wrong thing! 

Two Matches

     Joshua loves it when he realizes he and someone else have the same thing in common.  This morning Keith pointed out to me his sore on his knee from football.  I went upstairs and got medicine and band aids to put on it.
That is when Josh realized he had an old, previously scabbed over sore on his knee too.  He decided that he needed a "magic" band aid on his knee also!  I bet you didn't know that "magic" band aids make the sore go away faster, Josh learned this from his 3rd grade teacher Mrs. Bonewitz.  After I put on his band aid he said, "Look Mom, two matches!"  He even started limping when he got up from his chair!

"I be Good Now Mom"

     The concept of time is very hard for any 10 year old, but it is especially hard if you are a 10 year old with DS.  Josh doesn't understand that he doesn't get to do something that he wants because he was naughty earlier.  He tries and tries to talk us into letting him do what he wants, his favorite saying right now is "I be good now Mom."  So now I have the task of trying to make him understand that it is good that he is being good now but he still doesn't get to do what he wants because of his actions from earlier.  I even drew a picture of his entire day and put things in it that he does through out the day to try to make him understand that concept of time, the fact that he has to try to be good all the time and yes there will be times when he does get in trouble and even times when he finds that he needs help to not get in trouble and both of those things are ok.  In the end I have decided this, I wish that the actual time could go as slow as it takes for Josh to grasp the concept of time because then I would have more time to enjoy my special boy!

Piano Lessons

     Josh found my old keyboard under the bed awhile back and decided that he would like to learn to play the piano, so I talked with Evelyn Wiebke, or more important to Josh, Gerik's grandma, and asked her to let us know if she ever had an opening.  She called before we left for Colorado and let us know we could start coming!!!  I asked her to please be honest with me and let me know if she thought this would not be a good venture on our part.  Josh had his first lesson on Tuesday and he loved it!  Although you couldn't tell because his voice was NEVER above a whisper while we were there and he never made ANY sounds come from her piano.  Every question that she asked he answered correctly, he just wouldn't play the piano for her!  He has been practicing for at least 20 minutes every day and loves it!  I hope the next time we go he will decide to play her piano too!

Ah Ha Moments

     Have you ever had one of those moments, an Ah Ha moment?  You know what I mean, when that little lightbulb comes on and everything is perfectly clear.  For me that moment happened Thursday.  For months now Josh has been telling us that he wants to ride a horse for his birthday.  We have been trying to understand where this idea came from with no luck at all.  We don't own a horse, real or stick.  There are no horses close enough to us to make him take notice.  No family friends even have horses, but still he keeps insisting he wants to ride a horse.  The other day we went into the Apothecary to pick up a prescription and Josh started a conversation with Beth the pharmacist.  He was talking to her about his upcoming birthday and she asked him what he wanted to do and without hesitation he told her, "Ride a horse."  She told him she thought it was an awesome idea and then asked him why.  Now you need to understand that when Josh talks with an adult he doesn't know well and they ask a question he always turns to his dad or myself and asks us the same question, so when he did just that I told him I didn't know, it was his idea, and then he said, "You know Mom ride a horse, just like a prince does, you know like in Shrek when he rode the horse and got Princess Fiona!"  The biggest lightbulb ever came on in my head, and a great big smile to match it!

The Best Day Yet

     You would have thought that the best day yet was back in March when Joshua looked at the school lunch menu for April and realized that they are having white cake on his birthday!!!  Then you would have thought that the best day yet was the other day when we went shopping for birthday supplies and Josh got to make out the list, it included everything from napkins, candles, treat bags, and even a peatta (Joshua's words)!  But then today when Josh got the mail from the mailbox and realized he had a Birthday card already it was just the GREATEST thing ever!  He read it over and over again and showed it to everyone who came in the house, even Colonel!  Who would have thought that a card from Kirby Kangaroo could make someone have the best day yet?!?!?!!  But for me life with Josh isn't measured in best days, but in best moments......today for instance I got to share an orange float with him, he even go two straws.  It was the best moment yet, looking into those beautiful hazel eyes and thanking God for this best moment yet was the best thing I could ask for!

And This is Where it All Began!

     It is hard to believe that in 50 days from now my baby will be ten years old.  The title for this blog comes from our second son Keith.  The day Josh was born I was walking the halls of the old maternity ward at St.Lukes waiting to see if they were going to send us back home or not, when all of a sudden I had a hugh contraction right in front of the waiting room and my water broke!  Of course they had carpet not tile!  Josh was in the NICU for 12 days after he was born and when ever anyone would come to visit Keith was more than happy to take them on the tour. He always started his tour at the waiting room door with his famous words, "And this is where it all began!"  What a journey it has been!  Occassionally a few people have asked the question, "Don't you ever wish Joshua was born normal?"  Define "normal".  Can anyone?  I have heard it said on more than one occassion that we are only perfect when we come out of the womb.  I believe this to be true.  But I also believe that Josh is closer to perfect than most of us because he doesn't judge others.  He doesn't look at others disabilities or weaknesses and make fun of them or even point them out.  To Josh we are all the same.  I wish I had the ability to see everyone like that too and not have to work at it.  Do I wish Josh were born normal?  Not in a million years!  Now don't get me wrong, there are days when I ask God, "Why me?  Are you sure I am cut out for this job?"  But I can honestly say that I have learned so much from this wonderful little guy that God gave to me to look after that I wouldn't change things at all.  It's very easy to get all caught up thinking about how different things might have been especially when the day was "paved with a few extra pot holes and some speed bumps too", but then he comes up to you out of the blue and gives you a big hug and kiss and says, "Thanks Mom, I'm glad  you my mom. I love you." And I end up saying an extra thanks to God!  Thanks for bring Josh into our lives!